Lost Loves
by Di Michelle
Summary: I stood there in shock. I was numb.


Disclamer: I don't own anything. Please review. I would really like to know what people think of this story.

I stood there in shock, not believing the sight before me. I was done. I was numb. I had cried my tears. I held my beloved as I watched him take his last breath. I was alone now. I looked around. My eyes came to rest upon him. He sat there. I could hear his cries of agony. I looked to see her cradled in his arms, lifeless. It seemed as if he was living the same hell I just went through. I just stood there and watched him. His cries turned into sobs until all was quiet. I saw him press his lips softly against hers one last time. He gently put her down, stood and walked off. He passed right by me without seeing me. I turned and walked away from this hell, not knowing where to go now.

It was months later that someone came knocking on my door. When I opened it, there he stood. Neither of us said a word. The last time we had seen each other was at their funerals. I stepped aside and let him in. He stood there for a moment. Suddenly I was in his arms and he was crying again. Crying out his pain, his memories. I stood there holding him. When his crying turned into soft sighs he lifted his head and looked at me. Saying nothing he brought his lips to mine. He broke the kiss and asked me silently if what he had done was ok.

In answer to his unspoken question I lowered his head back down to mine and kissed him hard. We began walking towards my bedroom, tearing our clothes off piece by piece. When we got to my room we fell hard on my bed. He began to kiss me all over roughly. I grabbed his neck and bit hard. There was nothing soft or loving in our actions. We were going on pure passion and need, need to release the pain that we were in. He entered me roughly and I moaned in ecstasy. He thrust harder and harder, driving his pain away in me. I came hard, screaming. He soon followed screaming his own pleasure as I felt him release himself in me. We lay there our breathing hard. When we had calmed down he slowly got up, put his clothes on, and kissed me. He gave me a soft smile that didn't reach his eyes and was gone.

I had no regrets. I knew I had been used, but then, I used him as well. I also knew this would not be the last time. It became a ritual of ours. First it was every once in awhile then turned into once a month, to once every two weeks, until finally we were doing it at least once a week. We never spoke of love or any affection. I knew he was thinking of her whenever we were together, just as I was thinking of him. Occasionally he would scream her name when he came and I would just hold him tighter. If I ever screamed my beloved's name, he would hold me and let me just cry on his shoulder. I would cry for myself and my lost love. I would cry for him and the loss of the love of his life. This would continue every time we came together.

One day we were laying in each others arms when he spoke aloud. He startled me because we had this unwritten rule that we would not speak of what we had done or them. But what scared me the most was what he said.

"Will you marry me?"

He had spoken it so softly that for a minute I wasn't sure I had heard him right. Or maybe I was hallucinating.

"What?"

"Will you marry me?"

I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. He immediately started talking.

"I'm not stupid sweetheart, I know your heart will always belong to him. Just as my heart will always belong to her. But I have always dreamed of having the family I never had growing up. I want children, I want a big family to care for and who will care for me. Since I can't share this with her, I want to share it with you. You are the only person I want to share it with."

"I..I don't know what to say."

"Please just say that you will think about it."

I silently nodded as the tears fell down my cheeks. He just held me until we fell asleep.

I couldn't stop thinking about his proposal. It was the only thing I could think about. I knew why he had done it. He didn't want to be alone anymore. And if anyone deserved a family, it was him. If I was truly honest with myself I didn't want to be alone either. But there was one thing I had to do before I could even consider accepting his proposal.

It was a warm bright sunny day as I walked into the graveyard. I knew where I was going; I had gone there so many times before. I stopped when I was in front of his grave.

"Hello my love. I miss you so much. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I know we promised to love each other forever and I have kept that promise. I will continue to keep that promise, love. But I am tired of living my life alone. I know you are always with me, I can feel you, but I want a family. I want children of my own. I want a family to love. He wants to give that to me. Truth be told he wants a family of his own, even more than I do. I want to be able to give that to him. So I need to say my final goodbye. I haven't been able to in the past. It's killing me to do so now. But I know that you do not want me to continue living this way. I will always love you, never forget that. And he will take care of me. I know that and I know you know that."

I knelt down and kissed my fingers. I placed them on the words engraved on the stone.

_Ronald Weasley_

_1983-2003_

_Beloved, son, brother, and friend._

"I love you Ron Weasley. Goodbye."

Before I left I looked at the grave beside his. "He loves and misses you too, Ginny. I hope you know I will take very good care of him."

A gentle breeze began in the trees as I walked away. In my mind it was Ron and Ginny's way of letting me know that everything would be ok.

So I became Mrs. Hermione Potter. I always felt that I was stepping on Ginny's title. She was supposed to be the Mrs. Potter. But I cared for Harry and I knew he cared for me. We became the proud parents of four wonderful children, two boys and two girls. Ronald and Ginevra were our two oldest, twins. Then our son James and lastly our daughter, Lilly. We loved them and we came to love each other. I know we didn't share the same passionate, soul mate kind of love that we shared with Ron or Ginny, but we came to love each other in the way that you love the person you share your life with.

I remember the first time Harry told me he loved me. It was right after our twins were born. I was holding Ginevra in my arms and he was holding Ron. He looked at Ron, then Ginevra in my arms. Then he looked at me with this expression in his eyes, a look of wonderment and awe. "I love you, Hermione." I smiled at him "I love you too Harry." And I do.


End file.
